Howie Mandel has built a career on making people laugh, but behind the scenes, he faces a daily battle that many people never see. Known for his role as a judge on America’s Got Talent and his quirky sense of humor, Mandel is also recognized for something else: his intense fear of germs. In fact, he’s famous for frequently saying, “Don’t touch me.” So, when he surprised everyone by giving country music legend Reba McEntire a tight hug on The Voice stage in September 2023, fans were stunned.

For those who follow Mandel, this moment was shocking because of his well-documented struggles with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) and germophobia. Howie has often been open about his condition, but that hug showed just how complex his daily life can be. Despite his upbeat and energetic persona in public, Mandel has admitted he often feels like a “scared” man when he’s not on stage. In his own words, he says he would rather live “in the fetal position” when he’s away from the spotlight.

Living with OCD: A Daily Struggle

In recent interviews, Mandel has made some deeply personal admissions about his lifelong battle with OCD. He describes the condition as taking him to “absolute hell,” yet he continues to push forward. According to the Mayo Clinic, obsessive-compulsive disorder is a mental health condition characterized by unwanted, intrusive thoughts—called obsessions—that lead to repetitive behaviors, known as compulsions. For many, including Mandel, these patterns can be extremely disruptive and distressing.

Mandel shared with People magazine that his anxiety and OCD have been part of his life since he was a child. At 68, he still finds it challenging. He explained that while the COVID-19 pandemic was hard on everyone, it was especially tough for him. “It is impossible for me to live a day in my life without thinking that we might not survive,” he revealed. During the pandemic, he said the only comfort he found was knowing the people around him were okay—but even that wasn’t always enough. “And it was just the worst,” he admitted.

Comedy as a Coping Mechanism

Despite his personal struggles, Mandel has managed to build a successful career in comedy. He first found fame on the 1980s medical drama St. Elsewhere and has since become a household name as a game show host and talent show judge. Mandel credits humor for helping him cope with the darker parts of his life. “I use humor as a coping mechanism. If I’m not laughing, I’m crying,” he shared candidly.

Mandel says he finds the most peace when he’s on stage, performing for an audience. “I’m most at ease onstage,” he explained. Being busy with projects also helps keep his mind occupied. He currently hosts several shows and continues to be a judge on America’s Got Talent, roles that allow him to channel his energy into something positive.

Speaking Out About Mental Health

In 2022, Mandel appeared on The Kelly Clarkson Show, where he opened up about his mental health in front of a national audience. During their conversation, Mandel described himself as “very heavily medicated” and admitted he often feels terrified, despite appearing joyful in public. “People think I’m having fun and enjoying myself because I’m out and about, but I’m terrified,” he told Clarkson. He added that when he’s at home, he often prefers to curl up and “live in the fetal position.”

Clarkson was surprised, saying, “It’s so funny to me because every time I’m around you, you’re so the opposite of what I would think.” Mandel laughed in response, joking, “I know, I’m such a joy, I’m a light, I’m an energy, and I’m stunning.” But beneath the humor was an honest admission: “To be really honest, I take a lot of medication.”

The Reba Hug That Shocked Everyone

That medication might have played a role in his surprising behavior on The Voice. During the episode, Mandel, who was shooting the AGT finale next door, ran over to The Voice set when he heard Reba McEntire was there. He excitedly called her name, asked for an autograph on his “I [heart] Reba” shirt, and then—much to everyone’s surprise—gave her a tight hug.

Host Carson Daly commented on the unexpected moment, saying, “You don’t see that every day.” Mandel acknowledges that people often notice when he acts in ways that seem out of character. “People notice discrepancies,” he said. “He shook someone’s hand,” or “Oh, he hugged someone.” Mandel explained that when this happens, it doesn’t mean he’s suddenly okay. Afterward, he usually spends hours washing his hands, convinced they aren’t clean enough.

Continuing the Conversation

Mandel says he understands the humor people find in his behavior, but he emphasizes how painful OCD can be. “That doesn’t lessen how excruciatingly awful it is,” he said. He hopes that by sharing his experiences, he can keep the conversation about mental health going. “I don’t want to justify my emotional well-being,” he said. “All I want is to keep it going.”

In 2022, Mandel contracted COVID-19 despite being fully vaccinated and boosted. Fortunately, his symptoms were mild. It was a reminder that fear alone can’t protect anyone from illness, and why it’s important to take precautions, not just rely on anxiety-driven behaviors.

What Do You Think?

Howie Mandel’s honesty about his mental health struggles offers an important perspective on living with OCD and anxiety. If his story resonates with you, or if you have thoughts to share, feel free to let us know. Let’s continue the conversation about mental health together!